is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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