I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
