just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I wear drunk well.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
