I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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