just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
