Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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