lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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