I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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