I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
