Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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