guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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