Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
