So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
