it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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