Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
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Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
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I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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