I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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