According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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