You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
