I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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