Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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