Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
