Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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