I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
