Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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