Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
