wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
