People in love make me want to vomit
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
