I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize