yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
