i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
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who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
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while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
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