How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
