the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Randomize
