yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
