Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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