my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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