dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
