Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
