Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
