why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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