naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
