Ambien. No doubt about it.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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