We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
