38 yer olds are good kisserssss
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
