Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
