Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
