is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose parrot is this?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
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