I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
