We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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