If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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