i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
