He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
