Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize