No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
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