Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
