I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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