What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize