Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
50% drunk capacity currently
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Randomize
