I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
