did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
