Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
