Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
honey bunches of taint.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
